meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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