help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
