take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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