Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
