I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
COCAINE IS GR8
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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