I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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