the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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