i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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