i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
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I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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