i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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