You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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