Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
its liver damage thursday
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
