i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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