it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
