singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
