Porn is love you can see.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
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I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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