Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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