Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
