Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
