Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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