You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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