So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
