I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
