so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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