That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
