I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
