So drunk its hurt
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize