ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
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Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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