either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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