I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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