I wannas sexs uuuuu
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize