My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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