if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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