I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
