I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
