were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize