sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
