The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My feet surprised me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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