I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
