I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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