i barfeds in our rink
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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