I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
