He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Bring me that man meat
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
