how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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