This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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