Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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