Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
