After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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