I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The air was thick with penises
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
