it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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