the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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