She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
