see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
