well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize