He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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