I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
