I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
