Can i not drive my cunt home
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize