And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
